#114 - TO DO

八月快结束了

庆幸通过了试用期

现阶段

只想完成计划中的事

九月

很忙碌

但却希望 在这期间 能有所改变

踏出了社会

真正明白 赚钱的艰辛 金钱的重要性

赚的是一份微薄的收入 

获利的却是可贵的经历

即使如此

也不会阻止 我向前的动力

从前

只要有一丝的不安 我都选择逃避

而现今 在逃避的转弯处 我选择了 继续往前走...

21岁

或许大家都觉得 还很年轻 还能怠惰

但对我来说 21  其实 错过了很多

从前 我总爱等待 我总以为 你能明白 

我不会让这一切 重蹈覆辙

工作归工作

我会分得很清楚

认真的学习好每一件事

其实 

这陌生的环境

让我懂了自已 有很多的不足

有时候 我甚至觉得 自已的愚蠢 真的是无法形容

如果是从前 或许 我会逃避

但 现今 我会做好充分的准备 

尽力做好现阶段的工作

或许一年后的现在

我已在 下一步之上

九月的计划

真心希望 一切能顺利

舒适的生活 不该是我这年龄应有的

只要 对生活 有欲望 过得有意义

就必须 不断地前进 改变

我会改

我不会再有冷酷的性格

不会再感情用事

认真的 做好本分

感情

或许现阶段 还不是时候

因为 害怕  痛心 失望

好不容易 收拾好了心情

21 或 以后的生活

我会做好 一个人的准备 :)

You don't have to be unique for someone but for yourself ...

Turning Point

It has been awhile since the last blogging

Everyday was fulfilling..

I had past through my probation period and get the confirmation by Hotel.
I'm soooo grateful..

My manager told me yesterday during the confirmation meeting, what he mentioned was exactly TRUTH,
he teach me a lot, the way of handling/solving the problems, the way of being independent, the way of being positive in life

There's a lot of thing that has been turned me into a different person. Right now,
I can laugh easily just because of a vry simple or silly thing
I have been learning to being cheerful all the way with people instead of the 'poker face'
I have learned to enjoy my life, enjoy every single moment even is painful
Okay, You might think that I probably fall sick or mentally problem
But It's TRUTH

Undeniable, I was over pretending myself.
Whenever people ask about my personal life especially relationship,
I feel like hiding. A bad habit that I ever have
Last gathering with my precious nilam gangs
They have been started to concern about my personal relationship matter
Is not I'm afraid, is not I'm demanding
All is just about FATE

我曾以为 命运可以注定缘分
我曾以为 抱着期望就会有希望
我曾以为 只要是真心 有人就会明白
我曾以为 会有那么一丝的可能
但 原来 就只是 美好 的擦肩而过..

You made me stronger in facing any problems,
You made me stronger to get through everything by my own
You made me stronger till I don't really ask for helps
Yet, the self-defense is getting strong as well...
I know I have to CHANGED for getting closer with people.

Life is not about how many people remember you, it's about who can remember you deeply
Keep Changing is just a process of Life. To be valuable

Thus,
As usual, There's nothing IMPOSSIBLE to you,
You have your future, your dreams
No one can hurt you again, if you're firm enough
You don't have to be unique for others but for yourself :)

#112 I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY

Just back from our redang trip
When the last day coming,
My feeling was ’ahh we gonna separate soon!'
2 years study life
TIME FLIES


I would never forget how tough at the beginning when I was coming here alone
No friend, No families,
And I had never know I would meet a bunch of awesome friends over here :)

2年
我们都成长了
一直都很珍惜，很珍惜你们
因为有你们 我不孤单 :)
很多话 想要说
却不知 从何说起

只想说
你们很棒 (:
you guys are the steady friends that I ever meet in my life
Thankyou for always being cooperation on everything
Thankyou for always being so understanding
Thankyou for always giving help whenever I need it
Thankyou, thankyou and thankyou
APPRECIATE


在我对自已失去信心的时候 告诉我自已不察觉的好
在我每一次开口需要帮忙的时候， 你们一定尽力而为
在我想要更多的时候 你们总满足我的欲望
但我从不任性
我很认真对待我们彼此之间的感情
很认真的珍惜
我想说
我们之间的友谊，很真 :)


我习惯倾听多于诉说
但你们却从不计较和我分享
有时候 你们毫无保留的和我诉说着每一件事
我感恩
遇见坦诚的你们
我感恩
遇见愿意和我分享的人
就像
你在网路上看见些正好别人需要的用品
另一方的你收到了通知的简讯
这种感觉
很简单 却美好 ♥


大家或许好奇
你看似善解人意
但其实 你会不会也有不喜欢谁的时候
能坦诚地告诉你
即使在不喜欢 也会忍着
因为我知道 事情总就会过去
以前
不爱解释，即使是误解 难过就算了
而这两年
我学到了
解释 有时候 不是能得到些安慰
而是 在乎
不甘心 因为误解彼此有了心结
懂你的人
不是不解释就能明白
而是你的解释 能被谅解

你们总说我很好，怎样怎样
但你们不会知道
你们对我来说
是动力，
而让我变得更勇敢

有时候
就突然有了 很纯朴欣慰的感觉
就像一句
谢谢你 现在好多了
有时候帮不上什么忙 就只能安静的听你说完

与其说庆幸有我 不如说有你们我更幸福:)


我们班
总是被视为糟糕的一班
老师总说 我们是后倒数的班排
也有老师 在别班前 要我们学着点 班上所谓的participant
虽然说 我们班 不是数一数二
但是 如果说起 合作能力 我相信我们并不差





这趟旅程
很难忘
我不知道还会不会 有着齐人的一次
我很爱怀念 更喜欢回忆
而回忆起你们
很美好 (:


但愿在未来的一次聚会
能听见 你们成功的历程
很期待 在见面
会想念你们 :)

这两年
懂了很多
也谢谢另一方的你
或许是你幸福了
才甘心放下
此刻 只想祝福你
不寻找 不等待

#111

A very complicated emotional recently
feel slacking to do everything

I will be having my test 36 hours later
but I had no mood to study at all
ahhh.. hv to drag myself sit in front the table..

Less than 30 days for my final semester exam
The last last semester ever in this college, I guess?



突然覺得
最近發生的事情， 很平淡 卻很美好
Just suddenly feel like, people surrounded they are so nice!
I'm always trying my best to do everything, including the interpersonal relationship
I like to make friends and treating by a true sincere heart
Somehow I can know how important I'm to a person
I mean where I stand for in their heart

I always have super accurate six sense, will you believe?
You would never know sometimes I was actually seen through your thinking, your attitude without any signal detection for you
Sound terrible? Yes is it.. I will take it as an advantage for myself anyway, bcuz It might be the reason that I could protect myself..
So don't ever try to use tricks in front of me, bcuz you would never know I will be the one instead at the end




為什麼覺得美好
因為
能替別人分憂
很慶幸 也感激 這世界 除了家人 還有人這麼相信自已
我想說
不管你是誰 不管什麼時候
我很樂意 當個聆聽著
儘管知道 或許幫不上忙
但 記得
至少有個人 會心疼你
真心 希望 每一個人 真的 能夠很幸福的生活著


對我來說
人生 沒有平等或絕對的事情
就譬如說
你對我好 我才會對你好
是 人們總這樣認為
但我卻覺得
付出 是不求回報
而回報 是不強求的收穫
或許 很多人認為說
沒有回報的付出很傻， 很蠢
但我更覺得 蠢的是 不懂珍惜的人..

做自已認為對的事
不管別人怎麼說，怎麼反對
對得起自已就好


抉擇 像是一輩子 做不完的事
但有多少人
勇敢的征服
即使是失敗的選擇
又有多少人
珍惜了失敗的機會
失敗
或許也是種福分
一個為了成功 而累積的福分..

MH370 的事件
存活 還是個未知數
班機裡的每一個人 不管是遇到了什麼事
他們 連抉擇的機會都沒有
這一刻
如果 身份對換
會不會 才覺得 很多事情 還沒完成
會不會 才明白 珍惜 這兩個字
會不會 已經太遲


有時候，與其等待 不如積極的備戰
以前我總認為 等待 會有希望
但 我才明白
等待的過程 我失去了很多
不管是失去 還是錯過
有時候
已於事無補


以前
大家總認為說
你很柔弱
所以 在大家眼中就是 姐姐保護的妹妹
但
來到了這裡
我明白了
柔弱 不代表容易被欺負
柔弱的定義 在我身上
或許 沒有人能有資格給予評價
過去
你所看見的柔弱
在這裡 我建立起了 大家對我的信任
過去 你所知道的柔弱
在這裡 大家卻視我為有擔當的姐姐
過去 你所視為的柔弱
在這裡 我知道 有人會珍惜
現在一切的一切
你沒資格用我的過去來評價或斷定

過去怎麼樣
或許 現在沒人了解
我從不埋怨 更不奢望有人懂
但至少
現在我知道自已很喜歡這樣的生活
不能否認
每一次 回想 我還介意 真的在乎
但或許我更感激
曾經讓我成長的你們 :)


當有人和我說
謝謝你總是能體諒， 很開心有你這樣的朋友
其實我很欣慰 感恩
因為 上天
給了我 會珍惜的人
當每一個人 很真誠的給予幫助 或感激
其實 我很感動 :)
我感動 因為 我體會到真心 :)
第六感 總能讓我自覺很多事

#110

Counting down my school days

One more months

I'm soo excited about the life without schooling 

yet I'm kinda afraid of it 

Busy weeks with those assignment and mid term test

Feel like if I didn't do it well,  I won't get a chance to make it up

Yesterday, people briefing about the degree course,

Feel like holding an ICSA certificate is quiet professional
and sound like your identity will be much different with that. ICSA cert
But it doesn't make sense to me, I have an answer in my mind perhaps?

Looking forward to our graduate trip!
I can't wait to put down and let go anything that I have right now
I'm so exciting to pursue the life that I craving for ..



赞美
当一个人 和你说 你有多好的时候
其实 感恩 感激 多过于感动
很欣慰
因为
有人懂 你的好



心里最后的决定 到底有多少次
每一次 都没办法 坚定的履行
是执著 还是不舍

简单的问候 你过得好就好
今后 都不打扰 说到做到

简约的谈话
却感觉 牵强
更肯定  勉强不会有幸福
我不知道
那场梦 要带给我的讯息是什么
但我想说
不再坚持
不再期望
就不再落空


我期待 新的旅程
因为 不再有你

机会 留给会珍惜的人
或许
已不再 值得拥有

A TURNING POINT :) #109

CNY is coming to the end soon
and my school day was started few days ago
my last last semester perhaps?


A very different sem breaks
Every sem breaks I will definitely realize something that could able to make me strong
The previous sem breaks, I lost two of my lovely family within each sem breaks
It's inspiring and I swear I will treasure everything that I POSSESS right now..
FAMILIES, FRIENDS, LOVES AND DREAMSS...


I'd planned everything for this year when 2014 was coming
but now it has been changed , so glad it wasn't too late..
I was planned to continue my degree course and be a freelance wedding planner like what I am doing right now.. Because my parents hope I could continue my study as I'm still young
and yes, of course I know study is not a barrier for me, I could continue it without any hesitation as my result was maintained at the levels that I always look for
Undeniably, It was tough and suffocating while handling with job and study at the same time especially when all things came together..It's even worsen when all things combine with the relationship. The time I was like WHAT THE HELL happened recently.. Nobody will ever know about the difficulties of handling with all those stuff.  Now , I had already went through it by my own, there's still many out there which are much harder than expected, sometimes even out of our control.. and I will always get ready for it ..
I thought I will be continued the multitasking habit throughout the next two years, and seriously I had prepared for it..

However, it has been changed, I chose to work first before going for further study
很突然的一个转弯
很庆幸
还来得及 : )
其实 也不算是改变 或许心底原有的计划 就是这样
但我知道家人对我有期望
也认真的讨论过 我能继续选择学业， 但不能阻止我的事业 我的梦想
曾经的争执，妥协，让我知道 这简单的支持 对我来说 是动力，是力量
我原以为 就这样 能满足家人 同时 我能为自已坚持
所以一直都不看其他的方向

Until
That day, I met an uncle who is the one that I trust and respect the most,
He advised me and we chat so much
What he said that is what I actually think about
Bcuz of my study option. I not dare to think about WORK FIRST in my mind,
I know my parents won't allow me and for sure they may feel unhappy with it
Bcuz they will think that, we will work for the rest of our entire life, don't afraid there's no job for you
But my opinion was, CHANCES won't always being with you and get ready for you
Why don't we work first by creating the chances for the rest of our life?
People may seeking for the jobs and feel lost about their future after graduate,
Why don't grab the time of figure out what you're actually want and go directly for it?
YES, you mind fear, you mind think it's ridiculous, you mind wonder and struggle about your unpredictable future, but WHY don't learning and conquer the fearness, uncertainty in your life? Move forward, you would only know what you're exactly pursue for..
I mean if you knew what you want in your future yet afraid to step forward
AND YESSS, I'M READY FOR IT!! IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN!

I discussed with my parents and they let me to make the option
Tell you frankly, seriously I'm freaking afraid of stepping forward to the new environment and everything like start from origin, strange people, strange environment..
I know it's unavoidable, bcuz it's a part of life..
Seriously, oversea minded still in my mind, I hope could pursue my dream from study abroad
and I will make it as a new target and motivation right now :)

Study is a good option to get a better job in future
That's y I still can't make a decision before
After a deep consideration,
 I knew for me, experience is much more important instead of the certificate
Heard that most of you are going further for your study
Seriously, I still have kind of feeling to continue,
Yet, I will bless all of you :)
Hopefully we all could have a better life in future
Because I LOVE to listen different successful story from different people in their life :)









如果说还放不下
是不是
就还有机会


做了这行
脑里其实有很多点子
其实我害怕
会不会等你出现的时候
其实已经用完了

*最大的遗憾， 不是错过了最好的人，而是当你遇见更好的人时，却已经把最好的自已用完了*


我明白了，
有些喜欢 是没有结果的
有些执著 就只因为舍不得放下
有些在乎 或许就仅仅是最简单的安慰

我一向都有自已的原则
这原则 不是不让自已吃亏 而是在每一次自已吃亏的时候 还能坚定的走下去
而我的原则 会因一直在让我成长的人 事 物 而改变

或许
人们总认为
为对方而改变，就会失去了原有的自已
而我觉得
这改变， 往往能在迷茫中找到自已


还是会想念
你过得好就好 :)

#108

在你unfollow我的同时
有没有想过
其实有一天 我会知道

当下

是  很难过

虽然不解

虽然有些不明不白

但是

不想追究了

其实

就在前一天

我还想说

争取一次机会

老天大概心疼了吧

就在第二天

发现了

似乎告诉着我

别傻了

如果还有机会

我想成为陌生人

我不会像一般人一样

知道了

会生气

会讨厌

会憎恨

然后从一个曾经很要好很要好 的朋友 变成了冤家

我想我不会

这辈子不管是谁都不会

因为

我会心疼

我心疼每一段缘分

不管是友情 家人 还是未来的你

我珍惜

我在乎

一直都是

曾经

你和我说

只要有钱

别人才看得起你
所以你很努力

但其实

对我来说

我真正看得起的

不是虚有的外貌

不是你多有钱 不是财富

而是 你人生价值观

只有 做到金钱 都不能衡量的事物
我会真心从心底佩服你，羡慕你


或许
对你来说
我不漂亮，不聪明，又没钱
但
我可以
很肯定的告诉你
这世上   你找不到第二个

谢谢你
让我懂了

你的一句 ‘有我在’
其实
一直 一直
都在我心里
似乎
已经预留了位子给你
知道
不管怎样
都很难放下

因为
执着 是天蝎的本性


我想说
我会努力 过得比现在还好
我会努力 让你知道
不是我错过了你
而是你错过了我...

#107 22 Dec Winter Solstice

How's your Winter Solstice Festival today?

Guess all of you having a warmth day right?

SO DO I :)

I have no any tang yuan this year

I have no any family members and friends around this year

hmm you think I'm lonely? haha

Who say Winter Solstice Festival have to eat that for growing up?

I could grow strong instead! hahaha

Okay.. at first 

I know this was a part of my life , being alone during all the festival

We hv to learn to  face it right? Don't think is lonely or what okay

Life could even be better with a TRUE heart regardless where you have been 

Mommy called me far away from her trip just asking me 

'Did you eat tang yuan?'

No :( I replied

Mommy seems know my heart, she said nvm lah har,  you still can grow old

She was the one who warm up my day 

A cold weather, supposed having a hot ginger soup , 

Instead, I was warmed up by her regards

Thankyou Mommy♥ Enjoy your trips Miss you here ! ♥♥

Perhaps, when people grown up

You might think that

Some of the festival were no longer important

Some of the small desirable was even harder to fulfill unlike the previous year

Next year of today, How would I become?

A degree student? A professional wedding planner? or Just a little employee in a company?

A lot of question mark.. 

Yet, I would let it be an answer with a lot of punctuation :))

Still MISS YOU no matter how busy my life

I know I have missed out you

Hopefully you could take care of yourself and don't always fall sick okay

I'm always there for YOU :))

A SiMpLe LOVE :)#106

November is going to end soon...

I thought it will be a very good months for me

But Yah, I'd expected so much

I thought It will be a memorable month for me because It was my BIRTHDAY month

Yet, It was just a normal MONTH as others

Okay, I was depressed like hell before

Because what I had expected , I would only get disappointed at the end

Perhaps, I had overestimated on everything..

People posted in the FB status and asked , Should I expect much ? 

And I was replied, YES, because THAT'S HOPE!

but now

My answer was no longer anymore

It's much better replied with " IT'S DEPEND" :)

I always expected so much from the people whom I really care so much

and sometimes It may even influence my whole day mood or suffer insomnia on the night

That's how magically they always have such the POWER to impact my whole day routine

It was even worse when you know that things always screw up like you had never expected and make you depress in the end

I know it's all depend on how you think, how you feel, and how you face it with..

And I always fail to manage it well..

Anyway, That's just how I have been throughout this month

I won't let everything happen again on the following months :)

I was curious, 

Isn't every children said is always truth and real??

Yesterday , have a bunch of little kids who are seeking the way to pv12 

and I was staying at pv13

the time we were at down stair of my condo

The time they were like lost and not sure how to get there

the time I was actually said bye to them and get ready to back my unit

but then, I turn back for them

Because There was no any adult people being with them,

How could I bear to abandon a bunch of little kids?

I was asking the purpose and where they actually want to go,

But their conversation was suspiciously, then I asked for their parents number in order to make things clear

and they claimed that, they had already forgot every number of their family and no phone with them as well

Okay, The suspicious was getting strong, but I know I couldn't just abandon them 

Finally, I get one of their parents number by using some tricks

I'm so sorry to the children, I didn't cheat her or what

I just try to use some different way, but she never expect I would call her mother on the spot

and her parents is actually dunno her children is hanging out

I know the children would definitely get scolded from her mom

I'm soo sorry, That's the only way I could do to make you safe

Hope you would understand when you grown up 

That's a simple LOVE♥　 :))

One of the little kids said, " jie jie ni hen mei"

The moment I was like, hmmmm okay thankyou

because I seldom praise by people actually, not even a children

I'm not a very perfect person neither in appearance, study nor relationships

But I know , 

there's one day , my future person would think " YOU ARE PERFECT ENOUGH"  :))

I have been waiting,

but I wouldn't expect you are the one who will do this for me anymore

I would appreciate every true heart people :) 

♥♥

Fear #105

这阵子

忙碌得几乎觉得快要崩溃了

责备了你

其实

我很难过

我几乎 很少 会责备

因为

很多时候

我总会选择沉默

因为 责备了你

我很在乎的你

我没心情吃饭

也没想过

自已有胃病

是的

痛得我

真的在抽了

多久

没有这样了

第二天一大早

还要考试

当时真的只能祈祷 一觉起来会没事

或许

这是报应吧

但我始终不觉得自已有错

是言重了

那个我很抱歉

真的

你是第一个 也会是最后一个

责备你的原因

我厌倦了等待..

我学会了

看待事情

不抱着太大的期望

因为

得到的总是失望

承诺

对我来说

听听就好

其实 累了

忙得 早上六点才入睡

真的有那么忙吗

我更希望说

能就这样 继续

因为

至少 对你的关心

会减少些

曾经

我眷念的是个答案

而现在

我却已经觉得不重要了

放手还是继续

我却还没办法抉择

是舍不得

还是怎样

其实

就这样吧

现在的我

或许

觉得 做该做的事

会更实际些

很多时候

我羡慕的 是大家都能很容易办到的事情

像是

一趟下

能一觉到天亮

能觉得委屈的时候 哭一哭

能看喜剧的时候 哈哈大笑

能在难过的时候 诉诉苦

如果有了这些

人生会不会 更简单

笑点高

哭点更高

或许

已经忘了 熟睡的感觉 是什么

以前

心情不好 总会板着脸

但是现在

我更明白 压抑是怎么回事

是没人了解 还是真的其实对你们来说

本来就没什么

没人能了解 所以 我从不奢望

但我庆幸

这里有一群 我很珍惜的朋友

一通电话 就能喝酒去

在我忙碌得无厘头的时候

慰问我

在每一次我开口 寻求的时候

你们总是 能帮上忙

我感恩 感激 感谢

这一路上有你们 多好 ♥

由始至终

其实

害怕 迷失的会是自已..

就这样 吧

其实也没什么..

Special day #104

13.11.13
看着镜子里的自已
长大了，爸妈也老了

Happy Birthday to me and to you as well
my twins sister :))

A very simple birthday celebration this year, well I'm appreciated :)

First, early celebration with my lovely twins and family ♥♥

I'm so gladdd!! Last year we can't celebrate together but this year we make it :D

Tada!! The organizer of the celebration ♥

Accidentally wearing the same color suit, couple look :D

He was actually booking the places in advance 

and He was lying to me in order to make the plan success!!

Okay, fine, I was cheated by him anyway ..and still keep on asking some silly ques

I was never expect you would surprise us with the cake, 

bcuz I though it's juz a simple dinner as usual celebration

First time blowing cake outside the home with my lovely family :) ♥

How BLESS having you in my life :) 

THANKYOU MY LOVELY BROTHER ♥♥♥

FOR YOU :)

You're a very pretty and very strong sister to me ♥

As usual :)

Few weeks ago,you ask me

Why our situation had been reversed?

You was asking ' I used to pretty than you, hardworking than you, but now why everything had been reversed? '

You know why?

Every person changes with a reason

I was never think that want to compete with you

What I have been doing, changing on this current situation , I'm making it for myself :)
Don't ever lost faith in doing anything alright
I know you can and you have a very strong perseverance much more than anyone
You're a very straightforward person, how I hope I could always being so
Can't deny sometimes is HURT , but I know everyone has their own characteristic
I'm not as good as you think, I'm just try my best in everything !
You're still my lovely sister like no one could replace in my heart
No matter what, I would still LOVE you and will be there for you , EVER  :)

Vanilla Mille crepes ♥♥

Is my favour :)

A cake cost almost hundred ,

I'm appreciated :)

In fact, I was not really joyous

Because when the cake appeared infront of me, there was no one sing birthday song for me :(

The moment I was like, Can I cut the cake now?

I feel awkward seriously

And to me the birthday song is not completed

I was not care It was just a simple celebration, 

I just feel kinda disappointed because it was a very simple requirement

Anyway, The cake tastes NICE :D

Thankyou for the people who rushing here and there just for surprise me with my favor cake ♥ :)

Ahh!! Thankyou for surprising me during the midnight just to send your wishes to me :D

You guys were purposely came for me ♥

I'm appreciated :)

Because this was my first time ever, I was awaken by people's sincere wishes :)

This was the most precious moment during the entire birthday

You guys make me feel like, 

I deserved it :)

Birthday present and the birthday video♥

Thankyou people :D

Every present is so precious to me :)

Thankyou for present me such an expensive present either lego piano, piano disc or 3D piano card

My birthday wouldn't be so completed without you guys :)

Thankyou again,

I feel BLESS to know each of you ,

MUCH LOVE ♥♥♥

When people grown up, Thing has been changing

A few of friends whom I really care in my life

But they never send their wishes to me until the end

Being forgotten with the passage of time

A birthday could reflect how much you mean in their heart
Anyway, Shouldn't care so much  :)

And you,
You're the one among them
I was keep waiting until 12
but There's nothing
Okay , The moment I know it :)
I was making my precious birthday wishes for you this year
I hope you could let go your past..
The wishes only valid for one year ,
next year I won't do it anymore :)

Take care and I would still miss you :) ♥

11.11 #103

11.11
a very meaningful day

I have been waiting around one and the half year, 5 semester
I can't donate my blood due to underweight
and now I'm able to make it
Ahh!!
u would never know how excited I was
Can't find a word to describe my feeling right now
A very complicated feeling
A day full of nervous for our econ test, fear about the pain of donate blood, worry about whether I would pengsan after donate blood since I had one experience before
Fortunately, there was quiet smoothly throughout the process :)

I know actually I can choose not to face it and just let it be
But I DIDN'T
Because, to me,  Life would be more meaningful as to face it and conquer it
I can't be swallowing by the 'fearness' ever in my life
I know there were so many people out there was curious about my persistence,
To me, I'm always grateful for every barrier that appear in my life
Is a blessing to get through all of this :)

There was a very precious birthday present to me , EVER ! :)
a new experience, new feeling, new motivation!
Thankyou ♥♥
Appreciate to GOD :)

Sense #102

Whenever being alone,

a very strong emotional mood will always comes into my mind

Suddenly think about you

There was a very great singer in our class , he was really thumbs up and has a really great voice

Can't deny is quiet miss your voice sometimes

Before I know you, I though a great singer voice was never and ever make a people feel admire or anything else, especially to me, that was really IMPOSSIBLE  

But after I heard once , I was addicted , had a very different sense to you by the time,

Is not the kind of love sense or what, is more like a very SPECIAL sense that able to change my perspective

When I was first coming here, KL

You was promised that you could record for me

But PROMISED always being forgotten by the promisor 

That's why, now I had never take every PROMISES so hard,

Because that might not really work out in the end, 

Sometimes I'm wondering , What's the point of taking serious? 

But to me, I would always keep my words once I had deal with anyone :)

I used to think about my future HIM,

What he should become in my life..

He should know at least one instrument or have some talent either in photograph, drawing, singing, sport etc

He ought to have a high, fit body structure and a good looking appearance, 

He must elder than me or at least same age with me, must have a very mature thinking  

But now, he should, he ought to, he must , are no longer a condition to me

Because 

a very elder people doesn't mean that he will know you absolutely

a very talented people doesn't mean that he can do everything for you

a very good looking people even harder to figure out what they're thinking

Then what's the condition now?

There's only one,
 A RIGHT PERSON :)

#101

其实

不管日子再怎么忙碌 都还是会想起你

101
多漂亮的数目字

放手还是继续

我想我会选择前者

期限还有两个月

我希望我能潇洒些

和妈妈聊了一下

这一次 比上一回好多了

有时候 能安安静静的聊聊天

其实感觉很好 :)

我不擅长倾诉

想了很久该怎么开口

我始终没办法像你一样

想要什么都能尽力争取

你总是说

不要做什么都不交代，不解释

让家人知道你在做什么，

才不会让人担心

但其实

你能保证真的会不担心吗？

家人对我来说很重要

如果是别人我想 就算了

虽然说 最后父母不是很支持

但至少他们没反对 :)

知道你们担心的是什么

后果

我希望不会连累你们

我能承担

其实上一次到现在

我深思了很久

如果说放弃的理由是

害怕，胆小

但其实都是逃避的借口

我想这不是理由

也不可能会是我的理由

决定了

就不会反悔
但如果是感情 我多希望能有这勇气

那天朋友问说

为什么你做事情能那么执著

当时我不知道要怎么回答你

其实

执著对我来说

不仅仅是份坚持

也是份期望

一份没人能给的了的期望

You may think that it's a beautiful dream or just a dream

but to me, it's the only way could lead me on 

I won't let myself rely on someone as a motivation again

NOW I'm more reliable instead :)

To be honest,

GIVE UP minded was always comes to my mind,

but I know I'm not willing to do so as I have never tried

I know I could survive even being alone in all along the way :)

I would turn my dreams into REALITY :))

Family is all I have :) #100

My hundredth post

for my FAMILY :)

Have a very great weekend with my family

I'm not alone this time..

attend my cousin wedding yesterday and all my relatives was came back for this wedding

of course my lovely dad and mom specially came from jb :D

Everyone was surprised ! bcuz I was reached there by my own

I would try to do anything if I really want to :)

We had celebrated grandma's birthday also

You know my grandma when she saw me at the wedding

she was so surprised bcuz she thought I don't know how to get there

Ahhh! Just felt so glad get to meet her ♥

I felt so precious get to meet up my relatives who come from China

They were so nice and so excited to know about us *TWINS*

Bcuz we had a TRIPLES cousin over there, China

and they said I really look alike with one of them!

Is this FATE??

亲情 

对我来说 很珍贵

其实

开始时 我犹豫了该不该去

因为之前和家人 有些纠纷

最后 我选择面对 :)

现在 我想说 如果这一次我没去 我真的会后悔

因为 终于见到了 远方而来的亲戚

我的叔婆太，

明明没见过面

却有着莫名的亲切感

第一次 见面就紧紧地握着我的手

这种感觉是温暖 :)

原来以前 她有抱过我们这对双胞胎

她既然知道 一个出世时 有些小问题

她问我说是哪一个，我说其实我就是..
至少现在的我很健康 ，所以我知足 :)

一个从来就没有出现过在你记忆里的人， 既然记得关于你的事情，20年了

这种感觉是安慰 :)

听爸爸说 她现在生病了， 因为叔公的过世

在今天走之前

我和她道别， 握着她的手， 和她说我要回去了， 都是客套话

最后， 我搭了她的肩， 和她说

叔婆太，好好照顾自已..

她听了后很感动的靠着我的脸， 和我说了些话

虽然听不清楚 但是大概就是 ‘你这贴心的丫头’ 带着中国语调的客家话

这时候我感受到的是亲情

其实我想给的是个拥抱

因为老人家 总能让我心疼

真的希望你健健康康 :)

I LOVE this photo!! ♥ ♥

You know why?

Bcuz my daddy was smiling in this photo!! :D

His smiles always touch my heart!!  ♥

He is my handsome guy EVER! :)

I was staying with them at night
How nice sleeping with them in one room
 ( you don't know shy har )
hehe

Mom told me, she want me focus on my study first,

and my replied was, If I had gain a chance, I won't give up and let it go

I know they would support me one day :)

那个其实

在这之前

我很心痛些事

就是你的所作所为

但是现在

因为和家人见了面后

心态改变了一些

或许你会觉得我很愚还是蠢

有时候 

不揭穿你 是因为尊重 

不和你计较 是因为包容

或许很多人都觉得说

有些事情要问清楚 才不会有误会

但是有时候 你明知道了真相 但对方却还在找更多的理由狡辩

这时候 听的人会更累 不是吗

人总是口是心非

嘴上说不在乎 但其实真的很在意你们每一个人

我认识的你们

我的直觉大多数都很准

猜疑很累， 但有时候解释更累

所以 我宁愿什么都不说

就算在难过也好

就算即使是误会

我会想说 就算了 因为都会过去

与其抱怨 不如学会珍惜 :)

I would still LOVE you ♥

Family is nothing could be REPLACED in my heart.. :)

 ♥ ♥

  

一个人起航 :) #99

一个人起航，
很多事情
一个人都这样过了

21岁
我想
拿起背包 飞向另一个国家
想回的时候就回
旅行的时候
曾经 问过背包旅客
一个人旅行
你不孤独吗？
他很坦白的回答  其实很寂寞
知道这样的决定
家人会反对
但是 真的很想尝试
只有锻炼好自已
才能有足够的勇气 继续向前..

曾经在我生命里路过的人
谢谢你
还会关心我说
一个女孩子
不要什么都尝试
曾经
你说我很爱逞强
虽然 最终 我还是选择了自已
当下 我以为 你很懂我
毕竟没人够胆和我这样说
但现在
我想我错了
其实真正懂你的人
是明知道你在撑 但还是会和你一起走下去
而不是让你选择放弃

或许
很多人觉得说
我很难捉摸
我总是什么事都放在心里
因为外表 总是出卖了自已
如果是难过 其实我想一个人就这样 会过去的


其实很多时候
我更希望的是
自已对你们好 胜于你们对我
我很容易满足
虽然说 我总是冷漠的回应
但其实 真的我都放在心里 :)

人总是贪婪
对我越好
我会想要得更多
更害怕 哪一天会有了 私心




我曾经 以为缘分 就只是缘分
但是最近 遇见的 已经不单单 是巧合
你的上帝 一直在帮你
每一次
想要放手的时候
祂总是让我遇见 很多巧合
像是告诉我
这孩子 需要的是时间
一开始 我觉得 很纠结
但现在 我选择 把这感觉安安静静地放在心里..

或许
除了家人 和朋友
从来就没有爱过
天蝎座 不是不敢爱 而是爱不起
更是被动的那一方
如果错过了
就这样吧
我想说 如果这感觉淡了 我会接受
因为这感觉 至少曾经很美好 :)
比起可惜 我更会希望你幸福 ..


我依然珍惜
在我生命里出现过的每一个人 :) ♥

HOPE :) #98

Not really doing fine in this whole week
Well, I knew everything would be past and become alright in the end

I had some quarrel with my love family
I was burst in tears at the next second when I hang up the phone
First time I dare to voice out for myself and I felt that
Family support is really important and it's really means so much to me
The moment I felt like I was alone, totally alone
How to move on ? the moment I was crumbled..
Yes, I was sad like hell, suffered insomnia and terrible nightmare
Just so glad when I opened my eyes, look around , two of you were there :)
Parents always worry about their children
I need to grow up , Dad and Mom :)


But now, I knew how to move on! :)
I knew this way is going to be even harder and tough without anyone else
But I knew I could make it just as I always said,
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE TO ME :)
Fighting alone, so what?
Time could let you face the truth and reality
but, Time could always be there and get through with you as well
Time is always the best supporter whenever u fell down,
HE could help you to prove everything :)



AND
Really Thankyou people !
I knew so many people out there are concerned about me
I had received all your WARMNESS even my reply was indifferent

YOU said I could always rely on you and just text you whenever I face the problem
I felt TOUCH :)
Thankyou for always care about me and being there with me
I try not to rely on anyone else since I was first came over here
I believe I could face everything since I had get through so many things alone
I knew I can :)
I just afraid once I had accidentally rely on you, I would fail to get out from that
Dependency is terrible
So, I rather try to bear it by my own ,
THANKYOU  ♥


Now, I had so many things have to deal with
I had deleted my instagram for awhile
Bcuz I'm trying to figure out something
Something that I really want to know and
It has been messing my mind throughout this year I think
3 Months is not really long but I'm still struggled with this feeling

IF there's really our FATE
I would accept it :)
God has been helping you ..

CANCER horoscope people was never fail to brighten up my mood and made my day
I SWEAR if my future Mr.Right is exactly this horoscope
I would MARRY him =D
Hey, not you lah! Don't think so much !! hehe
Thanks anyway!  ♥

I'm sry If sometimes I had left out you,
I have been trying to treat everyone equally
But sometimes just so hard to care about everyone simultaneously
If you felt that it's you
YES, it's you
I'm sry and  LOVE you :) ♥♥

10 Months #97

Have been quite a while I didn't update here

Opps.. It's not awhile

Have been around 10 months

I thought I would never come back and write something

I MISS the feeling of blogging seriously

Been blogging since I was 15 years old

Habit is always the hardest thing to be changed

The reason why I closed here before, 

Because there's too many people out there are noticed about me

That time like I didn't have any privacy

I had have a bunch of friends who like to blogging about their life, their interesting, their dreams

But now, there's no one keep updating their story

Because everyone has their own dreams to pursue

You know what?

Guys and Girls , I have been waiting each of your success story :)

I had chosen another way to pour out my own story

I'm a person who like to write, I like to jot down every single moment ,every touching and every loves in my life..

Yah! That's what I chose , I had go through everything with my little diaries during this 10 months..

Writing and blogging

Somehow the feeling was totally different

Yet, I would keep on writing :)

and I hope I could keep on blogging as well..

Let's talk about this 10 months..

I was reading back all my post and I realized 

TIME FLIES!!!

I would juz roughly go through it

bcuz I hope I could blog about this wonderful 2013 by the end of December

I'm now a second year college student

I will be graduated at the end of the next half year

and now I'm officially a Wedding Planner :)
I had started my career around 8 months
and so far, is quite okay but I'm still on the first step
Hopefully the next step is coming soon :)


During this 10 months,
I had learned soo much
Learning is never has an ending..
There are so many first time of my experiences even though there are quiet bitter and sour
But I know there is just a part of it :)


I had learned how to be strong, how to be brave, how to be optimistic 

No matter how hurt, how sore, how terrible
I would never bring the pains to anyone whom I love, even though you're only a stranger to me
Becuz everyone deserve to be treated with a true sincere heart 

I hope you feel so :)


FATE has been playing around me
I was never expected any super coincidence things happened on me
I couldn't deny that I didn't have any feeling to you at all and I'm quiet miss you sometimes
but, I had no idea why GOD, he always helping you and teasing me
Maybe he loves you more than me? hmmm..
Relationship is torturing sometimes



10 months memories are quiet a lots
I'm grateful I'm still alive and able to do what I want and what I like
Always appreciated with LOVE :) ❤

Praying hard for everything :) (96)

A lonely night again

It's just so sad when I getting a reject call

why? I shouldn't care so much right?

Having exam this coming Sunday

It's my last wedding planner exam

Everyone is getting back their hometown

Again, staying alone at here

So what? I get used of it over hundred time I guess? lol

Seriously, being  alone would make you think everything deeply ,influence your mood

Do you ever having meal alone?

Do you ever feel strange and scare while you had no choice to go through it?

Do you ever need help but no one could succeed to do that for u ? 

Do you ever being alone in a crowded party night?

Do you ever watch a romantic movie alone in  cinema?

Do you ever being alone in an empty house?

Yes, I did!

There are just so many things that have to go through by our own

 But, sometimes really hate of it, again, I had no choice

I need a person who really know me and would be there wherever I been

I need a person who willing to do everything for me

Yet, there's nobody would do that

Perhaps I'm over pretending myself from letting others  go into my world

Sometimes, I'm forced to make trouble to others .

Yes, I admitted I'm a trouble maker

I don't really like to count on anyone

I don't like to do anything by seeing someone faces

I don't like to judge by others before they understand everything about me

I don't like to receive any bad comments while I don't think that I had did something wrong

I don't like to say  IS OKAY ,NVM in over again and again while I'm truly not okay

Yet, I failed to stop it..

Well,

Pray hard for me, hopefully I would pass my exam

Last paper of this course

I would be an officially wedding planner !

there are just so many detail things that I have to touch up

I'm worried about how if I screw up everything?

Would I break down?

Perhaps had a very big expectation and seriously I hate disappointed

I  feel enough of it

Hello 2013 !! :)) (95)

2012年過去了

時間過得真快

一年了

沒有你們的日子一年了

最近在忙搬家和考試

第五次了

住越久東西也就越多

這一趟

搬到了凌晨

早上六點入睡

7.45就醒了

來了這裡後

能睡一覺好的真的很難

搬回了以前住的那一棟新公寓

這裡的新公寓味道，建築工程的雜聲，走過來來往往的停車場

我想起了當初來到這裡那麼無助的自已

其實有些害怕

因為當初一個人在這裡的時候是多麼的不順

沒有朋友

沒有家人

對著陌生的環境

一個人拿著地圖摸索着怎麼搭公車

怎麼去百貨公司

現在知道了這裡的治安

真的佩服當初的自已是多麼的勇敢

想起當初老媽每一天的一通電話

知道老媽為我擔心

幾乎每晚心疼的落淚

不是因為想家

而是那麼大了還讓家人為我操心

我知道或許現在還是一樣

因為爸媽總說我糊里糊塗

或許一輩子都不會忘記

跌倒的時候

是那麼的勇敢諾無其實的站起來

用紙巾擦掉傷口上的沙

到藥房去買藥

更了解有時出門不一定是要靠朋友

因為一個人也能活得很好

或許我變了

變得羅羅嗦嗦嘮嘮叨叨

朋友都說我是媽媽桑

其實老實說我很討厭這樣的自已

因為我覺得自已很煩

就 連我自已都會頂不順自已

我知道這一點

如果不改就沒有人要了

2013

會變得更好的 =)

當初的要好

當初的感情

似乎有些淡了

其實開始有些陌生了

很努力的在堅持着

堅持著當初我們在一起那種熟悉的感覺

堅持著我們之間的感情

很害怕有一天我們會變成

只有一句你過得好嗎，我過得很好的對話

其實很明白

一切都會變淡

這是遲早的事

只是能拖多久就多久

因為我們不可能永遠都那麼好

要過年了

大家都在為新年衣煩惱

而我卻一點動力都沒有

沒有想要掃貨的感覺

或許是因為一年365天

有1/4天都在逛街

已經沒感覺了

2012 過得很充實

看到了很多

經歷了很多

改變了很多

學到了更多

別人的2012擔心着世界末日

而我的2012擔心着怎麼過得更好

很不一樣的一年

或許會永遠記得

這讓我更期待2013年 =)